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Why I'm not writing on Vox as much these days:

  • I can no longer send outgoing mail from my phone and so I have no ability to make mobile posts. I can't seem to find the time or the motivation to call T-Mobile about it and I've gone beyond the limits my technical know-how trying to fix the problem myself. I need to switch mobile providers too because coverage in Menlo Park from  T-mobile is practically non-existent. But I haven't been able to figure out who to switch to, so I've been stuck without the ability send email on the go. (No, I don't want an iPhone, unless you have one you just one to give me.)
  • I'm busier than I can remember being in ages and my proclivity towards procrastination means that I'll think about things I want to write about, but they just aren't making it to the top of any of my many to-do lists. I have an odd relationship with time. I don't have enough of it, even when there is enough. My sense that time is scarce can sometimes push me over the edge into a place where I just throw my hands up and cry out "enough, I'm not going to do anything if I can't do everything!"
  • I've found it easier to pop off little 140 character status updates in Twitter or Facebook and that often takes away the need or motivation to compose a whole blog post on Vox. But snippets and random crap that pops into my head aren't the same thing at all. Oh sure it's fun and allows me to stay (sort of) connected to others, but it's the romantic equivalent of a text message "xoxoxo" compared to a love letter written in a carefully chosen card attached to a cd of songs that reminded him of me. Just not the same.

It makes me sad that I'm not posting as much anymore. I had used Vox as a sort of journal/scrapbook/open letter to friends, family and the anyone who happened to stumble upon it, and as such, it's been a way for me to stay connected to myself and to others. I'm feeling a little untethered to the universe at the moment and I think it's because I'm not taking the time to write. 

One of the other benefits of posting for me has been that it forced me to create a space for reflection (some might argue the better word is rumination). If I'm not taking the time to write things down, the moments just disappear and if they disappear, passing into the next moment and the next without intention and consciousness, what chance is there I'm going to learn anything from any of it? Little to none.

So I haven't been posting as much anymore and I think that means that I haven't been being as mindful anymore. I need to call T-Mobile and find out what's wrong with my phone.

Originally posted on patty.vox.com