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I think I might be catching a cold. I don't know, but something's not exactly right with me. My brain's been like porridge and my moods like marsh mellows in hot chocolate. My stomach is rumbly and I vacillate between feverish glee and fears that the world is going to drop one of those Monty Pythonesque 2000 lb weights on me. Ever felt so good that you convinced yourself that you must be sick?

I'm not really writing or post anything in this blog that's entertaining or enlightening or even worth reading and yet my life is deliciously rich and filled with moments I want to capture and hold on to. Isn't that why I said I'm blogging in the first place? But now, for some reason, I'm both fearful of stopping to examine things because if I look at them too hard I'm not living these moments and worried that if I don't reflect and record, I'll start to forget. And the brilliance of these precious minutes, hours and days will fade into memory.

It's an absolutely wonderful time right now in my life. Like a harvest, a fruition of many things, some of them dirt and rain and some of them sugar and sunshine, coming together to make a potion that tastes both other worldly and magical and yet completely ordinary.

There is so much to be grateful for, so much to appreciate and cherish. So much happiness and wildly good fortune is touching my days, connecting me to people and places I can't help but feel love for. And I am struck by the Buddhist teachings about suffering and attachment. When life is shitty we want to push it way and escape it and we suffer. When life is delicious, we want to hold on so tight and keep exactly as it is now, have it never end. And in that attachment we suffer.

Prayer for Freedom From Suffering

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending
one another.

May those who find themselves in trackless,
fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

The Buddha

Under The Weather
KT TUnstall

Under this national rain cloud
I'm getting soaked to the skin
Trying to find my umbrella
But I don't know where to begin

And it's simply irrational weather
Can't even hear myself think
Constantly bailing out water
But still like I'm gonna sink

Coz I'm under the weather
Just like the world
So sorry for being so bold
When I turn out the light
You're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
Feels like home

You say you feel like a natural person
You haven't got nothing to hide
So why do you feel imperfection
Cut like a sword in your side

Coz you're under the weather
Just like the world
And I need somebody to hold
When I turn out the light
You're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
Feels like home

Coz I'm under the weather

Originally posted on patty.vox.com